USA and Mexico 2017

Thursday 9th November – The Longest Day
Well today has been all go as I rushed around to complete last minute assignments, packing and a trip to the specialist. The specialist was my first task and I was given the great news that I am officially clear of the big C. This means no more visits which is great for me and Alice. Those five years certainly went fast and I thank my family and friends who supported and were there for me in this period.
One unexpected task was that the caravan insurance was up for renewal but I was far from happy with the invoice that Suncorp sent. A 15 percent increase was not expected so it was time to shop around. To cut a long story short I managed to save about $350 which I promptly spent at the duty free stop in Brisbane. Ah, the joys of shopping and supporting a flagging economy.
Jemma drove us out to the airport and will house sit for us and look after our son “Bob”, woof woof. Check-in was a little slow with Hawaiian Airlines but we had plenty of time up our sleeve. Our flight to Los Angelos has a 4 hour stop-over in Honolulu where we will have to clear immigration and customs, re-check our bags and join the dreaded US security checks. The flight is due to depart at 10:30pm Brisbane time and 19 hours later we are scheduled to land in LA at 11:00pm Thursday 9th November. My rough calculations means that this will be the longest Thursday of our lives, a massive 42.5 hours. Who said there were only 24 hours in a day. Oops, an announcement over the PA system has just informed us that HA444 is delayed due to a late arrival. Praise the Lord, our flight ended up departing on time.
After a quick snack, a couple of glasses of red wine and a white for Alice I could finally sit back and contemplate the craziness of the past couple of weeks. As a prologue to our trip with Julie, Tony, Russell and Sue we had to change flights out of Mexico, cancel and rebook accommodation all because our Uncruise adventure which was departing on the 18th November was cancelled due to a small problem with the ship. The company had to do some welding to repair a weakened sub-structure which could have ended up with the ship sinking. Uncruise were great as they endeavoured to make amends for the change in itinerary. We had two options which was to cancel the cruise and take a full refund and spend an extra week on a Mexican beach. This wasn’t a bad option but we decided to take up their offer of departing on the following Saturday 25th November. They sweetened the deal by offering each couple $US1000 to compensate for accommodation and change of flight expenses and because we were in the bowels of the ship they upgraded us to “Commander” class which was worth another $US800. Russell and Sue missed out on the upgrade as they were already ensconced in the upper echelons of the ship. In the end we had to forgo a few days in Las Vegas and substitute that with a week on that Mexican beach. As they say, one door closes and another one opens.
Anyway back on our flight I popped a couple of doziles in an effort to induce sleep, turned on a movie (Wonder Woman). It did not take long for the reclining seats in front of us to begin their downward descent towards our legs. For once we had them covered as we had paid an extra $150 for the extra leg room and convenience of a comfort seat. I managed to grab a couple of hours sleep and woke up with the dreaded dry mouth whilst Alice continued to sleep.
We had a great view of Waikiki on the way in which culminated with a perfect touch down in Honolulu. I think we walked about 1.5km to the immigration counter as we docked at the furthest gate on the remotest terminal. It is now 11:30am and it is still Thursday 9th November. The walk was just what we needed to get the blood flow moving again. Clearing immigration and customs was quick and painless even after declaring our contraband of weet-bix and vegemite. After re-checking our luggage we headed up to the inter-island terminal and joined the snail paced security queue that seems to plague domestic terminals in the USA. Luckily for us we have plenty of time and after about 45 minutes we were through. We still have another 3 hours to kill as our flight to LA is not scheduled to depart until 3:45pm. At least it gives us some time to freshen-up, clean the teeth and have a saunter around the airport.
The last leg of our journey began on time at 3:45pm and has a scheduled flight time of 5 hours. There is not much joy on this leg as we are now flying domestic without any of the perks of international flights. Not that we needed one but a blanket and a pillow was an extra $US10 and the latest release movies were another $US7.75. I did pay extra for a comfort seat which gave us plenty of leg room and a relaxing flight. They did give us a small meal of chicken with rice the predominant ingredient and a small glass of wine. It didn’t seem long and around 10:30pm we could make out the lights of LA below us. Even at this time of night you could see the freeways that were lit up in long ribbons of light.
We touched down at 10:45 pm at terminal 5 and rushed off to the baggage carousel that was located at least a kilometre from our gate. We didn’t need to rush as our bags were the last to come off. It was now 11:30pm and we have to locate our shuttle bus to the Best Western Hotel which is a few kilometres away from the airport. We found the hotel shuttle location and waited for a while in the hope that it would just show up. Rather than wait in vain I contacted the hotel and gave them our location. It may have been fortuitous but 5 minutes later the shuttle turned up and delivered us quickly to the hotel. The other two guests were a little slow so I checked in first and had our room allocated just prior to midnight. By the time we were ready for bed it was after midnight and the longest Thursday had ended.

Friday 10th November – Downtown LA and Moreno Valley.
Just prior to bed we decided to take a restavit to induce a good night’s sleep. It did the trick as when I opened my eyes it was 9:15am. I jumped into dynamic action as our friend Joe who will be looking after us until Monday was due in the lobby at 10:00. I gave Alice a sharp tap on her rump to wake her up and then headed for the shower. Breakfast was included in the nightly rate so I trundled down to the lobby for some coffee and cereal. I must have been a bit dozy as I managed to spill milk all over the table and floor. The coffee was good and it seemed to perk me up a little. Alice joined me and between us we wolfed down a quick bite to eat before heading back to our room. We were a little late hitting the lobby but didn’t delay Joe for long.

Joe has informed us that traffic is light today as it is a public holiday for Federal employees to celebrate Veterans Day. We headed into the downtown area and found a parking lot near the Bank of America building. Our plan is to purchase a ticket for the Oue Skyspace and head to the 70th floor for some amazing views of LA. The early morning fog had lifted so the $US25 ticket price did come with an unobstructed view. Dodger Stadium, the Hollywood sign, freeways were all visible and laid out like a giant tapestry. I stumped up an extra $US8 for a slide down the outside of the building. It sounded scary but it only went a short distance inside an enclosed plastic capsule.

 

 
A short walk was the world’s shortest railway line, Angels Flight Railway. At only $1 it is one of the cheapest tourist attractions in LA. It has had a chequered history but is now fully renovated and doing a brisk trade. Being short our ride was over in about two minutes. From here Joe drove us over to Philippe which is the home of the original French dipped sandwiches. The food here must be good as the queues were long and the tables full. The staff still wear the original uniforms that came out in the fifties and the décor matches this theme. Forget any food that you might drop on the floor as it is covered in sawdust. We settled for the lamb and beef rolls with a an accompaniment of pickles and potato salad that was washed down with a couple of cold beers.
With our late lunch over Joe headed out to the freeway system for the 75 mile haul to Moreno Valley. We had hoped that there would be no delays but even on Veterans Day our commute still took 2.5 hours. After dropping our bags at Joe’s place we were back in the car and heading down to Murrieta for a rendezvous with Joes son Andrew and Liliana. We all had dinner at Sizzlers which was doing a roaring trade. Unlike the demise of Sizzlers back home over here they seem to be expanding. If I
keep taking advantage of the Seniors meal I will be expanding as well. On the way back home Alice and I kept nodding off as the long Thursday had caught up with us.
 
Saturday 11th November – Palm Springs
Well today is actually Veterans Day and judging by the time it took Alice and I to get moving we could easy qualify for this title. Andrew has suggested that we visit the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway which is about a one hour drive away. The road up to the tramway is quite steep and there is a sign advising motorists to turn their air conditioning off while negotiating the steep climb. There are plenty of citizens taking advantage of the beautiful weather and as a result we ended up in the bottom car park. Luckily, there is a shuttle bus to whisk us up to the Valley Station where we could purchase our $US25 tram tickets. Our ride was not for another 45 minutes so we killed time with a coffee on the Cascade Patio which gives you a good view of the tram cars and Johnson Falls.
It was soon time to board the tram which takes approximately 80 passengers. The unique part about the tram is that there is a slow cabin floor rotation that gives everyone a great view. By the time we reach the Mountain Station we have ascended to over 8,500 feet. After we alighted we took in the sights of the valley floor and the Accidental Sea (worth a google) from Grubbs View.

 

It was getting late and after a bite to eat we tackled one of the walks called the Desert View Trail. It is a 1.5 mile loop with incredible views of the Coachella Valley. Joe made sure he stayed away from the edge of the precipices however His son Andrew was all over the place like a rock wallaby. The walk itself was only a slight challenge with a short steep climb at the end. It was right on dusk as we left the mountain which gave us a slightly different perspective on the way down.
Back at Moreno Valley we were all champing at the bit for dinner. There is a great hamburger chain in California known as In and Out and there is one just 5 minutes’ walk away. They have a simple formula – just two burgers, fries and a range of drinks all made fresh and at a reasonable price. The queues were long but Alice snagged a table and it wasn’t long before our burgers were ready. After woofing them down we pronounced them delicious and worthy of a mention in the diary.
 

Sunday 12th November – San Diego Safari Park
After a late start and a Starbucks coffee we headed down the freeway to the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Joe thought the crowds would be down as the weather was a little overcast. Not to be as we ended up in the gravel at the bottom carpark. Lucky for us they also have a shuttle bus to convey us to the top. Joe has an annual pass which entitled him to two free guest passes which he has kindly donated to us.

We started off with a visit to the Gorilla Forest and were rewarded with seeing the whole troop marching about. The star of the show was a baby gorilla who was still clinging to its mother’s back. The bird show was next on the agenda and these flighty creatures put on a great display. They were certainly well trained. As you can imagine there were plenty of people visiting the park so I was a little reticent to line up for the African Tram ride.

 
I’m glad that we did as the queues kept moving and the wait was only about 30 minutes. The ride took us past the cheetah enclosure but they were resting in preparation for their afternoon run. The main enclosure is home to a variety of species of antelope, rhinos, giraffe, zebra and a couple of ostriches. On the 40 minute tram ride you get a good look at all of these magnificent creatures. All in all it was a great afternoon and definitely worth a visit. It was near dark when we arrived at the bottom carpark so I took the opportunity to mark my presence.
The last stop of the day was to drop Andrew back at his mum Liliana’s place. She has graciously prepared us an early turkey Thanksgiving Dinner for all of us. The food was delicious but we had to depart by 7:30pm as it is a long drive back to Moreno Valley. Back at Joe’s we had to ensure that our bags were ready as it is an early start tomorrow.

Monday 13th November – Highway to Hell
It is approximately 76 miles from Joes place to the LAX airport. We thought that by leaving at 5:00am that it would only take 90 minutes to drive that distance which would give us plenty of time to check-in for our 9:15am flight. We were all up at 4:00am and at 4:55 we were heading out the gate to the first of about 4 freeways. Joe was quite pleased when we got through the first squeeze point without incident. He kept the pedal on the metal as we flew down the road at a great rate of knots. At this time of day I could not believe the traffic volumes heading to and from LA. By 5:30am our joy had turned to dismay as the traffic ground to a slow crawl. This apparently happens every day as two major freeways merge together. From this point on it was stop, crawl and speed up all the way to Los Angelos.  At about 7:00am we were still approximately 20 miles from the airport and had been on the road for a little over two hours.
There were patches where we picked up a little speed and with that my anxiety levels declined. It was only short lived as inevitably the traffic slowed but we could see the traffic control tower which meant we were getting close. Eventually we entered the ring road that links all the terminals. It was now 7:40am and traffic was thick even on the ring road. Joe eventually deposited us at the Tom Bradley International Terminal where we quickly unloaded our luggage and made our way inside the terminal. The only problem was that we could not see our Delta 344 flight anywhere on the departure schedule. In frustration I asked an employee where this flight departed from and he gave a non- confident reply of terminal 2. The frustration and our bladders were reaching boiling point as we trudged back towards terminal 2 which we had passed 15 minutes earlier. As we neared terminal 3 we both could not hang on any longer and made a bee-line fort the ablution block. When I came out I accosted a delta employee who kindly assisted us to check-in, print our boarding passes and check our bags.
With that ordeal out of the way we tackled the great American blockade, airport security. For once the queues were not out the door and after about 20 minutes we cleared security. We then went to our quasi gate which was a trip down the stairs to catch a shuttle bus to guess where? Yep, the Tom Bradley terminal. We eventually ended up at our gate about 35 minutes before our scheduled departure. At the end of the check-in line we spotted a very relieved Julie and Tony who are travelling to Los Cabos in Mexico with us. If we had missed our flight they had no idea where we were staying and to put it literally they would have had to wing it. Anyhow we all left on time and had a relaxing flight down to Mexico.

Clearing immigration and customs was straight forward and painless. Outside we spotted a sign with Allan Gould which was our ticket to ride to Los Cabos. I had booked a shuttle for $US75 to our condominium and a 30 minute stopover at Walmart. We did utilise this time effectively and purchased enough supplies to last us for a few days. Our 2 bedroom condominium has all the mod cons and is about 500 metres from the beach.
 
After settling in Tony and I knocked back a few beers and soaked up the ambience. When it cooled down we went out for a walk and made our way down to the beach. It is a beautiful beach but unfortunately the rips in this area make it unsafe for swimming. With the sun going down we decided to find a Mexican restaurant to sate our culinary desires. A tout gave us a voucher for a local restaurant which included a few drinks so we set off on shanks’ pony. It was a twenty minute walk and it was well worth it as the food was plentiful and delicious. A future plan will be to order two meals and an entrée as that is all we really need. We thought we would hail a bus to take us home but on the whole walk none showed up.

Tuesday 14th November – Lazy Day in Los Cabos
Tony and I were both up reasonably early and in need of a tea and coffee. The only problem was that we couldn’t get the jug to boil. Eventually, we worked out that the power in the kitchen was not working. A plug in the hallway had some juice and that was enough to get us going. The girls however were a little slow to rise and did not greet us until 10:00am. Tony cooked up a decent breakfast whilst I tried to sort out the power and television issues. A few emails later and all was good.
The pool beckoned and we all relaxed down there for a couple of hours. Tony and I left the girls and headed downtown in search of beer. First item on our agenda was to get some prices for hiring a vehicle that can convey six adults. Some frightening research before I left home indicated that the going rate was $US140 per day. At that price I would want an ensuite with breakfast included. We spotted a Thrifty Car Rental and sauntered inside for a quote. The young man on the counter which was a desk with a PC took a little while to grasp that we wanted the car for eight days but in the end he was able to come up with an all inclusive price of 1600 pesos a day ($US80). We told him that we would check out a few more places but thought his price was good. He pointed us in the direction of the supermarket which thankfully in this heat is only a 10 minute walk away.
 
This supermarket was as big as Walmart and sold everything including motorcycles. I think they had a deal going which included a helmet. Tony and I scoured the aisles and eventually found the cerveza and vino. One good thing is that for $A5 you can pick up a six pack of reasonable quality beer. With our shopping done we went and found a cheap burrito bar and managed to feed ourselves for under $8.
On the way back to the condo we spotted a Hertz rental agency so decided to compare the costs. The young man gave me a price of $US80 which he managed to convert to 1700 pesos. I told him thanks but we have a better price. He immediately dropped down to 1500 pesos which wasn’t bad. I scratched my head and looked non-plussed so he offered us his rock bottom price of 1200 pesos. I thanked him and told him I would be back tomorrow to seal the deal.
An afternoon swim, a few beers, wine and a steak barbeque on the patio rounded out a relaxing day.


Wednesday 15th November - A Slow Start
Well those drinks last night did play a little havoc with our ability to rise nice and early. Tony needed to clear his head so he revitalized himself with a few brisk laps of the pool. It is amazing that even in this heat the pool temperature is nice and cool.
Alice and I braved the heat and went for a walk down to the beach near the Holiday Inn Resort where it is supposed to be good for bird watching around the lagoon. We couldn’t see any birds as they were smart enough to stay out of the heat. I noticed a taxi stand opposite the horse riding school and they had some fares to various destinations published. We chose Centro which is the historic downtown area as the fare was only 120 pesos.
The whole square is being renovated with new pavers being laid which are very similar to King George Square in Brisbane. In summer this square will be a place to avoid. We had a browse through the main catholic church which dates back to the early 20th century. It was a plain and simple church but it had a nice appeal. At the opposite end of the square was the City Hall. Alice checked out a few stores but I went into a mild panic when she walked into one selling Mexican fire opals. She managed to refrain from a purchase but was very impressed by their beauty. There is a thriving art scene and each Thursday they close off a few streets to entice the tourists into the galleries.
   
After a couple of hours we needed a break so we thought that we would give the public transport a go to return to the condo. We waited on the side of the road and hailed the first bus that came along. We jumped on and I handed the driver a 50 peso note and waited for my change. He waved me to a seat and kept the bus moving. A couple of stops later he gave me some change. There are no tickets so I guess they rely on an honour system with the drivers. There are also no bells which means you saunter up to the driver and point to a spot on the side of the road where you want to alight. It seems to work okay as we arrived back at the condo without any problems.
An afternoon swim, a walk to the shop because we drank all of our beer the night before and some food preparation filled in the rest of the day.

Thursday 16th November – Sue and Russell Arrive
Well today we are all up and about and full of energy. After breakfast it was straight down to the pool for a few laps and some moderate exercise. The sun is shining brightly once again and there is not a cloud in the sky so it was off to the beach for swimming. On the way in Tony wanted to go a different direction as he finds it difficult to escape the attentions of the beach vendors. The sand is quite gritty and there is a large slope down to the waterline. The waves that roll in rush up the beach and then out again which causes an in-close undertow. This would be quite dangerous for the novice swimmer but there are plenty of signs warning of the danger. Tony and I took a good look at the conditions and then plunged in for a refreshing swim. The water temperature was just perfect and we stayed in for over an hour. There was a sandbank out the back and we headed for that to catch a few waves. We did manage to get a few rides and I will be definitely back tomorrow for another crack at them.
Back at the condo it was time for a cleansing swim which is really an excuse to get the sand out of the budgie smugglers. With that done we headed indoors to escape the worst heat of the day. We have had contact with Sue and Russell who are travelling with us for the next three weeks to continue our adventures with Un-Cruise. The plan this afternoon is to have a quiet drink and then head out for some fun.
This evening we headed out to the old town for the Thursday night Art Walk. At the end of the street we hailed down a bus and 10 minutes later we were joining the many tourists who are out for a dose of culture. The streets are closed to traffic for four blocks and there is entertainment such as music and traditional dancing. The girls are a little more cultured than us so they are wandering the streets and soaking up the ambience. Boys will be boys so we are soaking up the 20 peso draft beers from a perch overlooking the street. I think we managed to down a few before they returned.
 
By this time we were all a little hangry so it was off in search of a restaurant. Along the way Tony embarrassed himself as he was caught out with a code yellow. Fortunately, he found the entrance to the local Shooters Bar which was an appropriate name in this instance. His facial features were etched with lines of relief as we walked the last metres to the restaurant. By this time most of the restaurants were closing so we ended up at the same one we had dined at previously. Another good meal and a safe walk back to our lodgings ended another day.

Friday 17th November – David Makes a Spectacle of Himself
Tony and I wanted an early morning surf but unfortunately the tide was high which meant the undertow was more dangerous than yesterday. We decided on a long walk to the bird watching lagoon and the headed back to the condo for a swim. It is always good to get some early morning exercise in. Our next task was to pick up our hire car which is a Dodge full size SUV which can seat seven passengers. It is a nice big unit which should be able to take us and our luggage.
After lunch we gave it a test run and headed south for about 20km to a local beach called Chileno Bay. We had packed a few beach chairs and an umbrella which we set up in a prime position on the beach. The water was reasonably calm which makes it popular with the tourist operators and the locals. Our only disappointment was that we did not bring our snorkelling equipment as there were plenty of decent sized fish to be seen. Nevertheless the water temperature was great which meant that Alice and Julie had no hesitation in diving in. Tony and I continued with the iron man theme and had a couple of long swims.
 
We left about 3:45pm as our plan is to pick up Sue and Russell at 5:00pm for a sunset drink at the beach, followed by dinner at a highly recommended Taco restaurant. There was an accident in the north bound lanes when we were heading down which we thought would have been cleared. That was not to be and our LA experiences came back to haunt us as we edged our way up the highway. The slow speed did not deter the locals as they made a separate line on the shoulder. At 5:15pm we finally passed the accident scene and it appeared that there was a fatality. Eventually we picked up Russell and Sue but due to our tardiness we decided to replace sunset at the beach with sunset at the condo.
 
After freshening up it was back on the bus to the old town and the Taco Restaurant. We relied on the recommendations of the waiter and were rewarded with some unusual taco fillings that were light, refreshing and full of flavour. The drinks were also great but the prices by Mexican standards were expensive. Our IPA’s were nearly three times the price of a taco. Anyway after a great meal it was time to hit the pavement to our humble abodes. There were plenty of bushes lining the pavement so I decided it was a good opportunity for some light relief. The only problem was that I did not see the broken chain wire fence and I tripped and went flying into the bushes. With so much momentum my glasses flew off my head and into the undergrowth. I naturally finished what I had set out to do and then started searching blindly for my glasses. By this time the rest of the group had returned and stated helping with the search. We had no light and we were about to give up when the local constabulary pulled up. It must have been a strange sight to see six gringos ferreting about in the undergrowth. We explained the situation and with the aid of their tactical torch they found my glasses. Unfortunately there were no lenses as I must have stood on them in my previous vain attempts to locate them. A little more searching and we recovered the lenses. They will definitely need a major overhaul and I’m pretty sure that the local police know what I was doing in the bushes.

Saturday 18th November – Lost In San Jose del Cabo
Our departure was not without its dramas as when I asked Tony where the car keys were he couldn’t remember. He had just been emptying the rubbish so back down we went for some bin diving. Tony hauled out the offending large bin and right at the bottom was the recalcitrant car key. Nearly a bad start to the day but now I know why Tony wanted to take out the roadside assist insurance. Well at 10:00am we were loaded up and ready to pick up Russell and Sue from their hotel. All of the luggage managed to fit in the Dodge and we were soon be chauffeured by Tony to our next destination, the Copala- Quivara Condominiums. The drive south was very relaxing and we had some great views of the beautiful coastline. We had to take highway 19 for a short distance before heading into the local road network. We do not have GPS or internet so I had written down the directions with turns and distances. The only problem was that there is dearth of street signage and it wasn’t long before we declared ourselves lost. I tried a couple of locals but in this non-tourist area English was a very foreign language. I had google maps up and could see one of the streets we needed to be on but had no idea how to get there from our present location. My Mexican friends were pointing me downtown but I thought we needed to be heading in the opposite direction but how do we start. In the end the ever patient Tony headed off in the direction of downtown but we soon thought that this was a bad idea. My next attempt was to try and purchase a sim card but communication was once again nigh on impossible.
After a hurried team meeting the consensus was to head out of town and try and pick up the road we were previously on. We made a couple of accidental wrong turns and when I glanced down at my phone I could see a dot on the map which indicated our location. More good luck than good management. I was able to get us back on the hand written route and we were soon at our last turn. The only problem was that it was a long and dusty, corrugated dirt road. This did not look promising for a high end condominium. We were however getting closer to the Pacific Ocean which is where we need to be. Our hearts slumped when we came up to a chain wire fence with a guard who spoke only Mexican. We were ready to turnaround but I thought I would try one more time with the guard. He managed to understand the word Copala and pointed us up the road and indicated that we needed turn left half way up. Two minutes later we shimmied up to the guard gate and collected our keys. Well done Tony.
The staff were extremely helpful and assisted us with emptying the Dodge. Our three bedroom condo is amazing. Great kitchen, lounge and all the bedrooms have an ensuite. It is the outdoor area which has won us over. There is a large patio with a dining table and an area with a hammock. Only meres from the patio there is a large infinity pool with an unobstructed view of the Pacific Ocean. Now this is living!
 
The complex manager has given us some directions and Russell will now brave the roads as we try and navigate our way to the local La Comer supermarket which is about 5.5km away. We managed this without any major incidents. This is a great supermarket chain and had no trouble spending 5000 pesos on supplies. No worries this time finding our way back and we even received a friendly smile from the dusty gate man.
After lunch the pool beckoned and we spent a lazy afternoon hanging around the pool. With the sun warming us and the water it was a great way to relax. We are all taking turns with dinner and tonight Sue and Russell are roasting some vegetables which will accompany some Atlantic Salmon. A nice way to end what started out as a hectic day.

Sunday 19th November – Gym Junkies
Well this place has everything. Down at the clubhouse there is a gym which we can us and at 7:00am S&R were out the door with A&D following soon after. We all felt the need to burn a few calories and I know that I punished myself. There is also a large infinity pool which is heated just enough to take the chill off the water. On our way back the other junkies J&T were on their way for a workout. All in all it was a good effort from everyone and a good start to the day. Everyone is just chillin’ today as we are all doing something different. Foe me it is a good chance to catch up on the diary.
 
This afternoon we hit the road and drove out through the resort to downtown San Lucas. This option is far better than the dirt track and takes about 20 minutes. Parking was scarce so we opted for a secure space which was a couple blocks back from the marina. The lot was managed by the Mexican equivalent of Arthur Daley of Minder fame who had a good drug lord moniker “Marco”. He spoke pretty good rapid English and seemed to have a contact with every tour operation in Mexico. I knew we had a live one when I enquired about the cost of parking. He replied “You decide!”  They are the sort of words I hate to hear.
Well after that we hit Shanks’ Pony and had gone less than a block when the girls dived into a clothing apparel store that was displaying discount signs. Tony doesn’t have any sunglasses so Russell and I lashed out and bought him a pair of tortoise shell sunnies for 30 pesos. Russell and I found a “suffering” position as the girls ransacked a few more stores. We did have some consolation as we tried a local taco store that was doing a brisk stage. With a bit of pointing and some broken English we ended up with a beef and chicken taco each which set us back a total of 34 pesos ($2.50). This was supposed to be a recon mission so we headed over to the marina boardwalk where we were set upon by the local touts. Russell had some discourse with one gentleman about deep sea fishing. Before we knew it we were out looking at a vessel named “Joceline” that could convey the four of us out into the murky blue. It is about 31 foot long and looks seaworthy enough for us.
It was negotiation time and they soon came down to about $US350 for a 5 hour trip. Russell had done his research but said he wanted the fishing licences, bait, water and six beers included in the price and that he was prepared to pay $US300. They were reluctant to agree but came back with $US325. We wanted to go on Tuesday but we discerned that they did not have a booking for Monday. We convinced them that we would go on Monday if they dropped the price. Some deep and meaningful conversation between the owner and the touts followed and soon after they agreed to Russell’s price which was exceptional value. We put $US50 down and agreed to be at the Marina by 6:00am tomorrow morning and I thought we were on holidays.
Prior to heading back to the condo I managed to have my spectacles repaired at an optometrist. The good news for me was that the repair job was gratis. Driving back we stopped at a high point that overlooked the resort and were rewarded with a magnificent sunset overlooking the Pacific. We could have looked at that view for hours but we had abandoned Julie and Tony for most of the day. They did however have a great day at the beach and cooked us a fantastic chicken dinner. Not too many beers tonight as we have to be up early.

Monday 20th November – Moby Dick, Joy and Ted
I could have said “My name is Ishmael” and I am to set off on the infamous ship the Pequod in search of Moby Dick but I’ll have to suffice with Lord Kawaku a poor excuse for a mariner who is going deep sea fishing off San Lucas. Another shipmate of Ishmael who was a long, thin, earnest Nantucket Quaker and also the first mate had a major coffee chain named after him. You probably guessed or knew that his name was “Starbuck”. Enough already!  Alice and I were up at 5:00am and were soon joined by Russell and Sue. It was still dark when we left the condo and we arrived at the Marina just prior to 6:00am where we were greeted by our skipper.
 
The marina was a hive of activity with lots of boats ready to try their luck. We were off fairly soon after and I was amazed when a skiff zoomed over and off loaded some live bait in what was a slick operation. We didn’t get far as we had to pull into a dock so the crew member could purchase our licences. What should have only taken a few minutes turned into a delay of about 25 minutes. We needn’t have worried because after we left the confines of the harbour we had a close encounter with a humpback whale. This was the queue for the deckie to spring into action and in fairly quick time we had five lines out trolling for those elusive big fish. We took turns at sitting in the fighting chairs but nothing was interested in the bait or lures. There were sightings of dolphins and I did see a large marlin leap out of the water.
 
It wasn’t looking good in terms of us enticing the fish to our trolling lines when all of a sudden our skipper Freddie got excited. There was a marlin of about 160 lbs trailing one of the lures. He tried to get a live bait into the water but alas the marlin lost interest and drifted off into the deep blue. That was as close as we got and with our five hours up we headed back into the marina. We did get a little excitement as Pancho one of the local sea lions launched himself onto the duckboard in search of any leftovers. We had a little fun hand feeding him the left over small mackerel. The other great moment was the magnificent sunrise over the arch at Lands End.
After a quick refresh at the condominium we headed back into town for a rendezvous with Joy and Ted whom we had met on our last cruise to Hawaii. They are an amazing couple from BC in Canada who despite their age are out living the dream. We certainly aspire to living a similar life and I think that whatever Ted has in his breakfast cereal should be mandatory for all of us. Seriously, we all need to approach life with a positive outlook like Ted and Joy and have a glass half-full attitude. We all ended up in a quirky bar called El Squid Roe, had a couple of drinks and ended up wearing silly balloon hats. There was plenty of convivial conversation and too soon our time was up. We drove Ted and Joy back to their all-inclusive resort which is about half-way between the two major centres. It was great to catch up even though it was only for a short time.
   
 Dinner tonight was at a local restaurant that was recommended by Marco and as a result he received some commission and we received a round of free margaritas. The grilled red snapper and other dishes were all great. The owner who was the ex-Mexican soccer coach even through in a free desert for us. The bill worked out at around $25 per couple which was a bargain considering that included a couple of drinks.

Tuesday 21st November – Shopping Downtown
Well we were all back to the gym this morning and after working up a big sweat it was into the pool for a refreshing swim. Breakfast was the first order of business which was quickly followed by relaxation. Tony despite his denial of being a senior is a definite candidate for a river cruise. On most days he is opting for a SCAN (Senior Citizens Afternoon Nap) which is a precursor to river travelling.
Downtown this afternoon we all went our separate ways as we searched for bargains. Tony and I went off with the ever reliable Marco to track down a diving school so I could have a scuba dive later in the week. We ended up at Pura Baja Diving school which is a small operation that caters for only a few divers. Victor the owner seemed to be passionate about his diving and I had no hesitation in booking a trip for Friday. Tony also lined up a panga to convey him and Julie to Lovers Beach. With our business over we headed off to the bank for some more cash and to find a spot for a local taco. We couldn’t go past Tony’s Taco store and for 25pesos each we were able to wrap our mouths around a fish and beef taco each. Tony demolished his before he realised there was a wealth of condiments inside that would have enhanced this culinary delight.

We were all to meet at 5:00pm but Julie had misjudged the time and was a little behind schedule. This turned out to be a good thing as it meant that tonight we could watch another great sunset.  Well tonight it is David and Alice’s turn to cook. We decided to grill some steak and serve that up with some roasted vegetables. The grill never reached a great temperature so the steaks were a little chewy but the vegetables more than compensated for our failure. A couple of drinks and we were ready for bed.
Wednesday 22nd November – Todos Santos and The Hotel California
Today as a result of being up nice and early we were able to hit the highway by 8:30am. Once we left the conurbation of San Lucas behind the traffic thinned out and we were able to enjoy a pleasant drive on Highway 19. For the majority of the drive we had expansive views of the Pacific Ocean on the left and the cactus filled desert on the right. This area is the home for many ATV adventure tours and there are a plethora of operators to choose from. At one stage we pulled up on the side of the road and had a great view of a humpback breaching in what appeared to be a calm sea.
About 10km from Todos Santos we detoured off the highway to investigate the beach at El Pescadero. Once leaving the highway there is no bitumen so we followed the dusty dirt road and a sign that said beach bar. It was hard to believe but this area specializes in organic farming and at present they were planting basil. After about 2km we found the beach bar which was closed. A little further on there was a stack of cars and assorted campers scattered around the beach area. There were plenty of surfers testing themselves on a nice little right to left break. We struck up a conversation with two young guys from Israel and Argentina who were on extended cheap surfing holidays. When we informed them that we were from Australia they shouted to another bronzed surfer who hailed from the Sunny Coast at Maroochydore. There really is only six degrees of separation.
With time marching on we returned to Highway 19 and were soon at the Nutbush, oops I mean Todos Santos city limits. This is a small regional town which lies smack on the water and the Tropic of Cancer. After finding a carpark we headed off in search of the infamous and apparently the original Hotel California. We had only travelled a few metres when the girls made a bee-line for Tony’s Antique store. Tony seems to be everywhere on the Baja peninsula. It took a while but eventually the girls emerged without purchasing any items.

We eventually made it to the Hotel California, such a lovely place and spent some time there soaking in the atmosphere. There was an emporium which once again attracted some attention from the female members of our troop. Nice guys that we are meant that they were able to pass the time away without fear from us having a whinge. There is a short historical walk that covers the old church mission, main-square and a good shopping precinct. Lunch was pressing so we took a punt on a restaurant with no customers but one of the staff spoke great English. It turned out to be a great decision as the food was sensational and at the end the bill was about 750 pesos ($51 for six). Over lunch we decided to forego a trip up to La Paz as we were enjoying the laid back tranquillity of Todos Santos. The girls continued to browse which was a good indicator of the town.
 
At around 3:00pm we headed out of town and decided to stop at a beach called Playa Los Cerritos. There is some development occurring here but overall it was a great stop for an afternoon swim. The water temperature was great and there was a small lagoon which made it nice and easy for swimming. With the time marching on we headed back to the condo for another fabulous sunset.

Thursday 23rd November – Lovers Beach and Art Walk
This morning was a little laid back as we spent some time on the internet trying to book some shows and activities for Las Vegas. With all that we have planned there will only be limited opportunities for the girls to indulge in retail therapy. T and J are off to Lovers Beach today so Alice and I took the opportunity to convey them downtown so they could take a boat out to the beach. It is an interesting beach and has great snorkelling from the shore and just around the corner from El Arco at Lands End. The other side of this spit of sand which backs onto the Pacific Ocean is the aptly named Divorce Beach. This is due to the steeply sloping beach which makes it dangerous for swimming.
Alice and I did some walking around but due to some back spasms I needed to return to the condo for some quiet time. With the afternoon marching on and with me feeling better the remaining crew hit the road for San Jose and the Thursday night Art Walk. The girls were also on a mission to find some swimming bathers so we detoured into the local Walmart store to check out product availability. Well this is a huge store with plenty of stock to keep the most intrepid shopper occupied. The one thing they do sell is souvenirs and they are cheaper than the stores in San Lucas. Even tight ass David parted with some pesos in this cathedral to shopping. The swimming costumes however were not a good fit and were consigned to the shelves or possibly the discount rack for another week.
 
It was now late afternoon and the drive up the coast to San Jose was very pleasant. Russell managed to snag a parking place quite close to the old town which made for a short hike to the art walk. After deciding on a time and place to meet up we all went our separate ways. I had a look in a couple of galleries but my heart wasn’t in it. When I noticed a quiet little bar on the corner that was advertising craft beers I knew that I had found a position to wait out my allotted time without suffering. From my prime position I saw R & S walk by but they failed to notice me. Alice wasn’t so fortunate as I bellowed out her name across the street. A quick peck on the cheek and she was off again seeking out the poorer quarters where all the bargains grow. With time almost up I headed up the street and stopped to observe some traditional dancers. They were dressed in ancient Aztec costumes and each held a stick soaked in kerosene. Once the flames were lit the dance as well as the smoke alarm in the shop adjacent to me began. The alarm was insistent and blocked out most of the music. The dancers were barefoot and I was incredulous that none of them stood on the burning embers.
I met Alice at a previously chosen restaurant and we shared a delicious Mexican combo. We struck up a couple of conversations as we waited for the meeting time with Sue and Russell to roll on. When I met them I noticed they had another couple (Sue and Will) with them. Russell had done the good Samaritan and had offered them a ride back to the marina at San Lucas. The time passed quickly and we were back at the condo by 9:00pm.

Friday 24th November - Deeper and Down
Sounds like the intro to a rockin’ Status Quo song but today I have treated myself to a double dive with Pura Baja Divers. The boys drove me down to the marina and I arrived with plenty of time to spare. There are two other divers going out with us and the owner Victor Gonzalez will be our dive master. The weather conditions are looking good so our first dive will be at Lands End where there is a resident Sea lion colony. There are plenty of dive boats out and some of them have way too many divers for it to be enjoyable. It really is a pleasure to be diving with a small group where the emphasis will be on the individual. The visibility was about 20-25 metres and our maximum depth was about 20 metres. Unfortunately, the Sea Lions were not active but we did see plenty of reef fish, moray eels and the scattered remains of an old wreck.
Our break between dives was back at the marina and this time Lorena (Victor’s wife) will take out two beginners. It was time to get back into the water and this time we were a little closer to the marina at a popular snorkelling and dive location named Pelican Rock. There is plenty of activity but fortunately there is only one other dive boat. On the other side of the bay there is yet another cruise liner anchored. There has been a different liner in port for every day that we have been here.
The visibility for this dive is about 15-20 metres and the depth varied from about 7 metres on one side of the rock to about 20 metres on the opposite side. Once under the water Victor was soon pointing out various marine creatures such a black tipped reef shark that was blissfully sleeping on the sandy bottom. There were plenty of reef fish a couple of large moray eels and an octopus. On the way back into the marina Pancho the sea lion put on a show by hitching rides on the transoms of returning fishing charters.
On arrival at the quay I checked the time and realised that I had miscalculated my pickup time. I was 25 minutes late so I paid my thanks and hightailed it to the rendezvous point. Along the way I heard the toot of a horn and presto there was Russell and Tony. We picked up Alice who had waited patiently on the corner for me to return. The only incident for the day was that there is some slight damage to the rear of the hire car when one of us reversed into a pole that was hiding in our parking lot. To be fair it is in a blind spot and the reversing area is tight. We made an attempt of polishing the damage out with some toothpaste but on close inspection you can still see the damage. We will see what happens when we return the car tomorrow.
A relaxing afternoon around the pool and dinner at a restaurant was the perfect antidote to finish our last full day in San Lucas.

Saturday 25th November – Waiting For the Bus
After another early morning workout and a leisurely swim we packed our bags for our return to San Jose. We still managed to get our entire luggage into the Dodge and were on our way soon after 10:00am. Our plan was to travel out by the dirt road in a vain attempt that the dust would hide the damage to the car. The plan was solid but when we returned the car to Hertz the damage was still visible. The inspection man did notice the damage but decided not to mark it on his report. Hertz is right next door to the Barcelo Grand Faro hotel which is our point for checking in for our Un-Cruise adventure.
 
Our bags were whisked away and we were all issued wrist bands for the hotel. This gave us day use of the hotel pools and included all food and beverages. For me this was like an invitation to a business class lounge at the airport. We did not need any encouragement and the three boys were soon knocking back ice cold beers at the swim up pool bar. The food at the outdoor buffet was a little ordinary however on further investigation we discovered another restaurant with tables overlooking the Sea of Cortez. The food here was much better. A couple of more drinks and then it was time to board our bus for the 2.5 hour trip to La Paz where our vessel awaits. The Baja landscape is amazing and the red sunset certainly highlights the desert.
It was dark when we arrived at La Paz but were surprised at how large this city is. Our home for the next seven nights, the Safari Endeavour is bathed in light and moored at the dock. After greeting the crew we were given a minor briefing before sitting down to dinner. The majority of passengers retired to their rooms but Tony and I decided that we should sample some of the beers on tap. The Baja Brewing Company is the preferred supplier on this trip and we gave a thumbs up to the IPA (8%) and the Oatmeal Stout (6%). We ended up calling it a night at 11:30pm.

Sunday 26th November – Isla Espiritu Santo
Overnight the ship has repositioned and this morning we woke up to a beautiful sunrise overlooking Playa Bonanza on the island of Espiritu Santo. The beer must be excellent quality as I woke up feeling refreshed and was able to join Alice for a yoga class before breakfast. The rest of the morning was spent getting ourselves geared up for snorkelling and an evacuation drill. I ended up trying on four wetsuits before settling on a 2XL which although slightly loose is comfortable and easy to put on. Tony with his massive frame looks like a sea lion trapped in a 3XL suit.
 
Lunch came and went and we were still on board waiting for our activity to begin. We had signed up for a beach snorkel and at 2:45pm we were finally transported over to Playa Bonanza where the crew had set up some chairs and refreshments. If we had signed up for the beginner’s class like Julie and Tony we would have been on the beach an hour earlier. It is a beautiful beach and stretches for over 2km. The sand is coarse and beach shoes are a must as there is plenty of broken coral to cause feet damage. When I entered the water I was a little disappointed as the visibility was poor and there was a slight chop. There were a few small schools of fish and under the ledge of a rocky outcrop I encountered a large dark green moray eel. Apart from sighting some small rock cod and parrot fish there wasn’t a great deal to see. Back on the beach we enjoyed the surroundings and the cold beer that was in the esky. It was close to sunset when I took the last skiff back to the ship. After alighting I jumped into the hot tub where I finished the remains of my beer.
After dinner Tony and I stayed on for a few beers. We tempered our stay and tonight hit the sack at a more pensioner like time of 9:30pm
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Monday 27th November – Burro Butts of Baja
I was up this morning just before 6:00am and after making her majesty her morning cuppa took in the sunrise in the beautiful bay of Agua Verde. No yoga for me this morning but the rest of our crew did a limbering up session. The crew seem to be better organised today and our first activity is straight after breakfast at 8:30am with S & R. We were transported ashore where we were met by a local Mexican family that operate a ranch in the area. Un-Cruise have been working with the family for about 20 years and as a result have a close relationship with them. We are all off on a Burro (mule) ride which will take us up onto the escarpment and down into a neighbouring valley before returning to the beach. After we were allocated our beasts of burden we began our one hour small adventure into the Baja wilderness. The views from the edge of the escarpment were so good that we could even see the fish in the water. Down in the valley we trekked through mesquite bush on sandy and at times stony tracks. You had to be careful to avoid the thorns on the bushes as they had the potential to rip your clothes. Our route also took us past their small family cemetery where the tombstones were mostly carved from the local rocks. We moved back onto the escarpment and had a few minutes to admire the valley and the rugged sweeping coastline from the panoramic viewpoint. When we finally alighted I thought my butt would be sore but we all felt it in our knees. After a few minutes the pain in our knees began to dissipate which meant the girls could spend their remaining time browsing through the trinkets that the local Mexican girls had fabricated.
 
After lunch we had signed up for a guided kayak paddle which would take about two hours. S & R were also on this tour but J & T had decided on a river cruise afternoon which essentially means an afternoon nap. There were about five kayaks on this tour and as it was the afternoon the wind had picked up which made the conditions a little lumpy. We had a great vista of the mainland but the main sights were the birds. Some of the species included the Frigate Bird, Turkey Vulture, Heron, Cormorant and the ubiquitous Seagull. Our paddle was highly enjoyable and apart from the birds we had a great upper body workout. It was late afternoon when we finished but for whatever reason the girls decided that they needed to immerse themselves in the briny water. The remainder of the day was spent relaxing and waiting for the call to cocktail hour on the top deck.
 
We thought our announcement system wasn’t working so we sauntered up to the sun lounge deck (level 4) just before 5:00pm. The staff was still setting up so we had first dibs on the seating arrangements. We picked a position between the food and the bar which also gave us a prime position for the sunset. I wasn’t disappointed in the aperitifs as they had freshly shucked oysters which were for me, absolute bliss. There were other nibbles but I concentrated on my favourite and washed them down with the Baja IPA. We finished the day with another fine dinner and of course a few more beers.

Tuesday 28th November – Arryo Blanco (Isla Carmen)
Overnight the ship once again travelled quite a few kilometres to a new position. The sunrise as usual in this region is quite spectacular and even after a few beers we are up early enough to enjoy it. Alice and I skipped yoga and made a late entry for breakfast. As it is a small ship cruise the six of us make it a practice to join other couples for a meal. The Aussie contingent is getting a good reputation for being gregarious and fun loving.
After breakfast we had some spare time until our skiff snorkel which is scheduled for 10:30am so I managed to catch up a little on the diary. Our snorkel is the last one of the morning and as a result it has the smallest group. We managed to don our wetsuits without the fanfare of our previous effort. Once again our guide for today is Jenny and everyone in the group is from Australia or has some affiliation through a family member. The wind has picked up and the ride across to the shoreline was wet and bouncy. Tony and Julie were scheduled to depart after us on a skiff ride. Visibility due to the rough conditions wasn’t great but there was plenty of piscatorial species to keep us interested. Most prominent were the striped Sargent Majors which were closely followed by the King Angelfish. I did see a large school of small snapper, grouper and a few small starfish.
 
With the snorkelling over we finished our excursion with the skiff taking us into a small cave. It was a change for us to be looking up as the roof and sides of the cave gave a good history of the volcanic activity that has helped shape this area. We were the last group to return so a few of us took the opportunity to warm up in the hot tub. I only exited the tub after I heard the call for lunch. Due to the strong afternoon winds there were no excursions. Instead we motored around looking for sea critters. There wasn’t much happening but in the late afternoon we had a few dolphins doing some bow riding. Not very exciting but nevertheless entertaining. Afternoon cocktails followed by dinner and it was time for this old rooster to hit the sack.

Wednesday 29th November – Isla San Francisco
Once again we have perfect weather and all of us have opted for morning hike after breakfast. S, R, A & D have opted for a hike that doesn’t follow a trail while T & J have gone for a return hike that traverses a steep ridge. We skirted around the side of a steep ridge and slowly ascended until we reached the mesa. There are many varieties of cactus with some of them sprouting small red pincushion type flowers. From the mesa we had great views of the Safari Endeavour which was anchored in the horseshoe bay. The going at times was quite difficult as we had to negotiate some ridges with loose scree. Sue scored the critter award when she spotted a large hairy tarantula scurrying across the rocks.
 
After a couple of hours we descended down a ridge to a secluded bay which is used by the local fishermen. On the beach there were middens of old clam shells but more disappointing was the discarded rubbish left by the fishermen. There were old ice chests, plastic by the bucket load, batteries and of course beer cans. We collected a little of it but you would need a concentrated effort to clean it all up. Back on board I had just enough time before lunch for a quick soak in the hot tub.
This afternoon the team have set up all of the toys on the beach which meant all of the guests had a free range on what activity they wanted to engage in. Alice and I were on the second skiff into the beach and immediately headed for the stand-up paddle boards. These SUP’s are inflatable and as a result are a little more difficult to stand up on. Alice was up pretty fast and I wasn’t far behind her. We were both surprised by our ability to stand and enjoyed a good long paddle in the bay. We gave up our boards to Julie and Tony who were soon in the water. Julie who is not a swimmer was soon up and heading towards Antarctica. Tony however was having all sorts of difficulty and did some amazing water entries. By this time Julie had reached the yachts anchored in the harbour but was having difficulty turning around due to the wind and current. All good things must come to an end and she tumbled into the water. We could see that she was having trouble getting back on to the board but Tony and the skiff captain came to her rescue. When she was back on the SUP, the skiff operator left her to make her own way back to shore. By this time Alice and I were having some fun on the double sea kayak. We could see Tony bravely towing Julie back in but his progress was painfully slow. We sprang into dynamic action and raced to his aid and gave them a tow to the beach. That was enough of a kayak workout for us so we took a breather before launching into our next activity.
 
Russell and Sue had finished their time on the SUP and we all headed off to the snorkelling area for some underwater encounters with the local inhabitants. Alice had some fun stalking a Puffer Fish which there were quite a few of. There were plenty of Sargent Majors, Trumpet Fish, Wrasse, King Angelfish, Damsel Fish and a range of other varieties. The visibility was okay but not great however it was a worthwhile snorkel. We were the last ones to finish snorkelling and quite a few guests had returned to the ship. Alice had struck up a conversation with Annie who was from one of the anchored yachts. She is on an extended sailing holiday with her husband, three boys who are being home schooled and their Beagle named Opal. Livin’ the Dream! It was a pleasant afternoon and none of us were in a hurry to head back to the ship so we just relaxed on the beach and enjoyed the moment over a couple of icy cold beers. In the end we were the last ones back and after cleaning our gear I was back in the hot tub for yet another soak.
I could have said this was a great way to finish the day however as part of the Un-Cruise experience each guest is entitled to a 30 minute massage. Alice and I are scheduled for 6:00pm and that time is getting close. I can only say that we were both extremely satisfied as both masseuses were very proficient and I walked away with a few less knots in my shoulders. Dinner was just around the corner so I did have time for a last minute cocktail. We are getting smarter with our orders and are now ordering a half ‘n’ half which means we can try the fish and the beef. There is a vegetarian option but I still cannot handle the tofu.

Thursday 30th November – Sea Lions 
Overnight we have continued to head south towards La Paz and this morning are back at Ilya Espiritu Santo and anchored off Los Islotes where we will don our wetsuits to swim with some Californian Sea Lions. There is no formal breakfast this morning as they want to get everyone into the water early. We are on one of the last excursion so won’t be taking off until around 8:30am. As a result we have had an opportunity for coffee and a portion of scrambled eggs and baked ham.
Tony and Julie are having a quiet morning, so quiet was it that they missed their 9:00am massage. Fortunately they were able to reschedule for later in the morning. The rest of us gathered on the aft deck as we patiently waited for 8:30am to come around. They were fairly prompt this morning and we were soon on our way skimming across the water to the Sea Lion colony. As you get closer you can hear them barking as they lay basking on the guano covered rock of Los Islotes. The next thing to assault your senses is the smell which seems to be a combination of fish and something that rhymes with chips.
 
I think that I speak for everyone as when we entered the warm water we knew that we were about to partake in something special. The visibility was about 20 metres and there was an abundance of sea life. The fish here seemed larger and more plentiful. Huge Parrot Fish and King Angelfish were swimming directly below which in itself caused a flurry of underwater camera shots. It wasn’t long before a juvenile sea lion cruised past and that one flash of activity grabbed everybody’s attention. They were diving right below us and some were really playful. Russell and Alice both received a nibble while another snorkeler was the recipient of a few bottom bites. Towards the end of the snorkel our guide pointed out a pair of Blue Booby’s that were circling overhead. Today’s activity was a definite thumbs up.
After an early lunch or should I say brunch the ship hauled anchor and moved location a couple of nautical miles away to a beach called Ensenada Grande on Isla Partida. It is a small sandy beach in a well-protected cove where we will have another free afternoon. The tide was out which meant that you could stand waist deep on the sandy bottom for at least 50 metres. Unlike the tropics where you can usually find a palm tree there is no shelter from the sun which beats down without mercy. I think I can understand why the Aztecs were sun worshippers. I didn’t bother with the snorkelling as the conditions were more suited to the SUP and swimming. I was feeling fairly confident on the SUP and thought that I would try a headstand. The idea was good but the application was poor as I continued to disgrace myself with my inelegant dismounts into the briny depths.
The Un-Cruise media team have been on board and they mistakenly think that Tony and I would be good ambassadors for the cruise line. They set up a couple of cameras on the beach where they conducted an unrehearsed, impromptu interview. We didn’t fair too badly but I do suspect that the interview will be heavily edited. Once again we had to be pried off the beach as we were on the last skiff back to the beach.

Tony has written a song about our Budgy Smugglers and it was time for his break-out performance. We all adjourned to the top-deck where Tony dressed in his six pack singlet started the introduction which had Russell and I gyrating either side of him dressed in only our budgy’s. I don’t think our dance moves will make it onto MTV but Tony should be up for a Grammy next year. After lampooning the Budgy Boys for the entire song we had the last laugh as we ended up walking away with the girls. The boys from Un-Cruise (Jesse, Aaron and Jake) were all great as they made an effort to record the performance on their high end equipment for us.

After dinner there was an international game of trivia between the USA and Australia. The questions were based on Mexico and in particular the Baja area. Considering our lack of local knowledge the Australian contingent came a credible second. Oh! I forgot to mention there were only three teams. With the sour taste of defeat in our mouths we had a last drink and headed off to bed.

Friday 1st December – La Paz and Whale Sharks
During the night our vessel weighed anchor and as dawn broke we berthed at the dock in La Paz where we had set sail from just under a week ago. We basically have the morning to ourselves in La Paz which gives us some time to explore the older area and waterfront. Our first visit was to the Whale Museum which has a very good display of the skeletal remains of whales found in this area. I suspect a lot of the skeleton is made of wood as I good see some peeling white paint on a few of the bones. We spent a good 45 minutes here and it is certainly worth a visit. The next stop was a coffee shop where the main item on the menu was free wi-fi and of course a couple of coffees. Afterwards we all went our separate ways before heading back for lunch. Tony is not going to miss today’s culinary experience as there are hamburgers with chips on the menu. Spot on 12:30pm there was a knock on the door and a big manly voice said “Are you comin’ to lunch”.
Tony wasn’t disappointed and with lunch over we were counting down the minutes until our 2:15pm whale shark experience. Whilst ashore I conducted a pricing exercise on the various tours. To go solo the cost of a seven hour tour to snorkel with the sea lions is about 800 pesos ($57). This also includes lunch and some time on the beach at Ensenada Grande. The whale shark experience is about 550 pesos ($39) for about three hours. I must point out that only local Mexican companies are allowed to operate the whale shark tours. This means that Un-Cruise has to charter a local company to take us on the tour and this is the reason why we are back in port today.
Our boat today is perfect for whale shark watching and I suspect that to travel independently on this vessel would cost a little more. We took off at 2:30pm and were in the viewing area about 30 minutes later. Tony was doing his usual attention seeking as he had put his wetsuit on backwards. With a little persuasion from Kent the expedition team leader we were able to get his zipper up. He looked like a huge Sea Lion out of water. At this time of day there are not many boats out but nevertheless they are in communication with each other and it wasn’t long before we had our first sighting. Six of us quickly geared up and we were soon in the water amongst these magnificent marine creatures. At first it was a little helter skelter as everyone tried to get into position. I think most of us received a gentle nudge from a vigorous flipper. Once we settled down there were numerous opportunities to get up close and personal with the whale sharks. As they sucked in the plankton through their cavernous mouths you could see the cleaner fish inside. There were four juvenile whale sharks feeding in this group and they were around 25 feet in length. Mature whale sharks can grow up to 20 metres but there were none around. Julie who did not go in for a snorkel was able to get a decent viewing of them from the boat.
 
We had a quick rest on board and most of us went in for a second snorkel. This time I managed to swim uninterrupted alongside another whale shark for a considerable distance. On another occasion I was only millimetres from the mouth and had to back pedal quickly. The only problem was it was turning in the same direction as I was swimming. All to soon it was all over but you could tell from everybody’s grinning face that it was an unforgettable experience. Tick that one off the bucket list! After cleaning all of our gear it was into the hot tub for the last time. One of the crew saw Russell and I and went down to the bar and brought us back an oatmeal stout. Now that was exceptional service.

The farewell dinner is always a good occasion and tonight was no exception. The beer and the wine was flowing and quite a few guests let their hair down. We all ended up on the slideshow that the crew puts together and I must say we all looked good. In particular Tony was outstanding as they managed to capture him having a beer during the water exercise class. In the end Alice and I called it quits at 11:00pm as we have an early start tomorrow.

Saturday 2nd December – Another Day, Another Country
Alice and I were up at 5:30am as we were in no shape last night to pre pack our bags. This gave us plenty of time and we had no trouble making it down for breakfast at 7:00am. Tony didn’t have as much to pack as the rest of us as he had left his underwear and a polo shirt unsecured on the deck railing. The polo shirt ended up on the dock and the underwear is floating somewhere on the Sea of Cortez. At 8:00am we boarded our buses for a trip to the Los Cabos airport. A lot of people slept on the trip down as I guess they have seen enough cacti by now. The trip down took 2.5 hours and was to say the least uneventful.
Sue and Russell navigated the idiosyncrasies of the self-check-in system like seasoned professionals. I needed help sticking on my luggage tag and joined the short queue to check-in our bags. All of us were all under the dreaded 23kg except for Julie who was about 1.6lbs overweight. Fortunately they did not charge her but they placed a blue tag on it to indicate that it was heavy. The security line was very efficient and it only took a few minutes for us to be in the airport lounge area. Now it is only a matter of waiting for 3 hours for our flight to Phoneix. We have a connecting flight to Las Vegas but our first priority will be to get through immigration and re-check our bags for Las Vegas. Well the preceding effort took all of 15 minutes so we headed up to security and all of us except Alice were ushered through the quick line. Our boarding passes had a TSA stamp on them but poor Alice had nothing. This meant that she was in a much longer queue and subject to a more intense screening. Like a good husband I waited in the security area for her. Fifteen minutes later and she was with the rest of the team with plenty of time to spare. Now I understand why she was singled out in San Jose for an explosives check and body search.

The trip to Las Vegas only took 9 minutes as they are not on daylight saving. It was a really smooth flight and we disembarked at terminal 3 where we were supposed to meet Julie’s daughter Sophie who had flown in earlier from Vancouver. Unfortunately our baggage is delivered to Terminal 1 so we had to jump on the shuttle train. Luckily, my mobile was working so we were able to text her and eventually she found us. Time was marching on and with a 30 minute wait for a shuttle bus we took a large SUV to the Tahiti Village which turned out to be ten minutes away. We should have done our homework as it was $US60 plus a $US20 tip. I really dislike the tipping system especially when you have already paid top dollar for a ride.
We finally deposited our bags at around 7:45pm but our night was just beginning. At 8:30pm we boarded the free shuttle bus to the Tropicana where we would then walk to the Mandalay Bay Hotel. We were going to meet S & R who are staying next door at the Luxor to see Michael Jackson 1 by Cirque du Solei. The only problem was that it was difficult to navigate our way through the Tropicana and then exit to the street. It would have been simpler to have walked around on the outside. Luck was with us as there is a mono-rail across the street that runs express to Mandalay Bay. We ended up picking up our tickets with 30 minutes to spare. The performance was spectacular and well choreographed  to most of Michael Jackson’s hits. The music was loud and there was also theatrical fog and strobe effects. Even so I did manage to grab forty winks during the performance. The show finished around 11:00pm and we were all too tired to carry on.
On the way back to the Tropicana to catch the shuttle bus some idiot dropped a beer bottle from one of the suites high above us. It shattered only a few feet from us and if it had hit a passer-by there could have been a fatality. We reported the incident to the Tropicana staff and then raced for the bus that had just pulled up. We were back at the village by 11:45pm but Tony and I had a mission to find some staples for breakfast. We trudged up Las Vegas Boulevard and in the glimmering distance we saw the lights of a 7/11 store. We bought a few supplies for the morning as well as a six pack for later use. The one thing that amazed me was that there were poker machines in this small service station store.

Sunday 3rd December – Wedding Bells
Well Tony and I ended up drinking that six pack before heading off to bed just after 1:00am. On retiring I made sure that the curtains were pulled tightly closed so I wouldn’t wake up too early. It worked reasonably well as I didn’t get up until 8:00am which by my standards is a sleep-in. It was a lazy morning but Tony and I kept ourselves organised by walking up to the Farmers Market about 1km away. Most of the produce is organic but we did manage to get a few supplies that should last us for a couple of days.
Sue and Russell joined us for some afternoon drinks and a couple of snacks, The boys adjourned to the verandah while the girls disappeared into the bedroom. Tony and I knew what they were doing but Russell was oblivious to their machinations, When they had finished their preparations we called Russell into the lounge and he was completely gobsmacked when they all marched in wearing wedding dresses. Yes my friends we are all getting married again at 4:00pm this afternoon and poor Russell was the last to know. He is a good sport and is looking forward like the rest of us to renewing our vows.
 
We caught the 3:00pm shuttle to the Mirage and along the way we received plenty of happy good wishes and congratulations. We needed to catch a taxi the remainder of the way to the chapel but instead took a party van with plush seats and a blaring music video to the Little Vegas Chapel.
   
Sophie has agreed to be the bridesmaid and our minister is the King, Elvis Presley. As the girls walked down the aisle Elvis gave a stirring rendition of “Can’t Help Falling In Love”. The ceremony was particularly good and had a few Elvis song lines thrown in for good measure. There were some serious moments and for all of us we need to remember our spouses are special. For all of us who do not have children at home we need to take the time and have those first dates and fall in love all over again. Enough smaltz! Our slow dance couldn’t have been better as Elvis decided to move off script and sing “Love Me Tender”. After the serious stuff we revved it up with the classic “Viva Las Vegas”. With the ceremony over it was time for some photographs with the king and the various background props. Sophie joined in for some of the photographs and has been an excellent bridesmaid for all of the girls. I think that the photographers snapped over 500 photos and if we want them all it will be a lazy $US299. I think we will stick with the video and the 5 photos that came with the package. The whole process is very professional and we were all glad that we have been recommitted.
After the ceremony we jumped into a couple and headed down to the old Vegas strip near Freemont Street where Julie has booked a dinner show called “Marriage by Murder”. As we walked into the casino the congratulations kept on coming. We picked up our tickets and adjourned to the bar while we waited for the show to commence. I hadn’t thought that the casinos would be grottty or that the customers would be dishevelled and uncaring about their appearance. Most of the casinos that I have walked into were full of smoke, dirty ashtrays, half empty glasses and customers glued to the slot machines. It reminds me of a few lines from Clancy of the Overflow and verbatim I will quote them.
“And the hurrying people daunt me, and their pallid faces haunt me, As they shoulder one another in their rush and nervous haste, With their eager eyes and greedy, and their stunted forms and weedy, For townsfolk have no time to grow, They have no time to waste”
Anyhow all of this hasn’t given me any desire to spend time sitting at the machines. We lined up for our performance and there seems to be a reasonable crowd in attendance. On the way I there was an older gentleman selling raffle tickets to help disadvantaged children. We bought a couple of tickets as the raffle was going to be drawn during the performance. After we were seated the announcer went around the audience and took a few photographs. The three brides from Australia were very popular with the locals and received a big applause. Our three course dinner was basic but tasted okay. During the show the main players were Mi Mi who is a exceptionally quick with the one liners and Rudy who played the local cop in his Magnum PI tight shorts. The audience participation was great but I had no idea who the murderer was and what it had to do with marriage. In the end we found out that it was of course the African American who had been spurned by his father. He of course was one of three actors who had been planted amongst the audience.
After the show we went outside for a walk down Freemont Street. The wind was blowing a gale straight in from the desert and was as cold as the beer at the bottom of Tony’s esky. It was just like a westerly at Exhibition time. We were all lightly dressed and were feeling it but not as much as the three girls wearing G-strings and tassels on their nipples. They were doing lewd poses with anyone who had a few dollars to spare. It is like a large mall with a zip line running down the centre. There do not appear to be any rules as people were smoking and drinking in the street. I did enjoy the hustle and bustle as well as the free concerts. In the end it was too cold so we bundled ourselves into an SUV and headed back to the Village.

 Monday 4th December – Grand Canyon
Alice and I figure it will be a long time before we are back in Las Vegas so along with Russell and Sue we have booked a helicopter flight over the Grand Canyon. We have booked a cheap flight from 5 Star Helicopters who operate out of Boulder City. The word cheap doesn’t really relate to helicopter flights as ours still cost $US295 per person. Our flight took off just before 10:00am and we were soon hovering over Boulder City heading towards Hoover Dam. The view of the dam which is one of the seven engineering marvels of the world was superb and you could easily see the inky black outline of the Colorado River snaking it’s way to the dam. Lake Mead was formed by the building of the dam and it is used by Las Vegas residents for boating. The water and the electricity that is generated goes mostly to California. Within 20 minutes the majestic walls of the Grand Canyon came into view. We flew over the west rim and could see the skywalk suspended over the edge. Millions of tourists come here to take in the view however from our lofty position it looked miniscule. Overall the flight was approximately 75 minutes and was definitely worth this one off splurge.
 
On our return to the hotel we said a sad goodbye to Russell and Sue who are taking a road trip to San Francisco tomorrow. J, T & S spent the day on the hop on hop off bus, a Beatles tribute show and dinner at a swanky restaurant. Yesterday we discovered that the Tahiti Village is right next door to the Las Vegas Outlet stores. This afternoon was a good opportunity to check out what they had on offer. I did manage to find a couple of bargains from the Columbia store and we now have a good idea on the layout for an assault tomorrow. Afterwards we headed downtown for a look around New York, New York for a look around the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State building. The scale of all these casinos is mind boggling and the revenue they bring in taxes funds most of the projects in Nevada.
Alice and I were quite tired so we ended up travelling back to the hotel on the shuttle for an early night. We did venture out into the wind to grab a bite to eat at a fast Mexican restaurant. A couple of quick Burritos and we were back into the wind  heading along Las Vegas boulevard to the hotel. It was so cold that we both broke into a jog to keep warm. That was a good way to keep the heart pumping and the end of another day.

Tuesday 5th December – Honolulu
It is a slow start to the day as we have to vacate our rooms by 10:00am. Our flight isn’t until 5:00pm so we stored our bags and the girls took advantage of the time to search out bargains at the Outlet centre. Tony and I stayed at the hotel for a much needed workout and a swim. When we finished we caught up with the girls who had restrained themselves to a couple of pairs of Sketchers. After a quick bite to eat we headed back to the hotel to wait for our Uber lift to the airport. Sophie had arranged it and the cost was just over $20 which was far cheaper than what we paid on arrival. He showed up on time in a near new SUV which was big enough to accommodate all of or luggage and the five of us.

Check-in was relatively quick but it was strange to see a longer queue for business class. No queues for the security line meant we had a couple of hours to kill before boarding our flight to Honolulu. Flight time is a little over six hours and we should touch down around 9:30pm. As it is a domestic flight there are no free in-flight movies but we can watch a little television if you have your own headphones. There was some food which could be best described as ordinary. We did feel like a couple glasses of wine and that set us back $16. Ah the joys of USA domestic air travel.

Touch down was at 9:35pm however to retrieve our bags from the carousel we had to catch a shuttle to another terminal which seemed miles away. Eventually our bags rolled around and then I had to contact the Pacific Marina Inn who sent a shuttle to pick us up. This went smoothly as it is close to the airport which suits us perfectly as we have to catch an inter-island flight in the morning to Maui. We checked-in around 10:30pm and quickly stowed our bags in the rooms. Tony and I were still a little wired from the flight so we headed down to the bar which was obviously still open for a couple of Maui Lagers. We were starting to relax when a few locals came in and eyed us over. They were intent on some karaoke and it didn’t take much encouragement for Tony to join them. He quickly won the locals over with a couple of Toby Keith songs and they returned the compliment by singing “Down Under”.  Tony thought he had been in a time warp which had sent him back to the old Highway Hotel at Rocklea. We called it quits after another beer and headed off to bed at 11:30pm.

Wednesday 6th December – Maui
The room was comfortable but I had a bit of a broken sleep due to being interrupted by early risers who were obviously like us heading off to catch a flight. There was some coffee and tea available I had one for breakfast which was topped off with some pistachio nuts. Our flight is scheduled for 10:40am so we should have plenty of time if we catch the 9:00am shuttle. For once the inter-island terminal wasn’t jam packed with passengers trying to connect to the far flung islands of the Hawaiian archipelago. We managed to check-in and clear security in about 25 minutes. This gave us enough time to enjoy a leisurely breakfast prior to boarding our flight to Maui.
Flight time to Maui is only 30 minutes and after collecting our bags we headed over to Dollar car rentals. I had pre-booked a car through discount Hawaii car rentals who seem to get discount rates. We ended up spending a few more dollars on a SUV as the sedan just wouldn’t cut it with our entire luggage. It was supposed to come with a full tank of fuel however after we had travelled 5km down the road I glanced down at the gauge and noticed that the tank was only half full. Well that is better than half empty but nevertheless we had to turnaround and travel back to the rental agency. Eventually we were on our way and heading to our Air BnB at Kihei.

Our condo wasn’t ready so we toddled off to the supermarket for some supplies. We knew that due to transportation costs that food and drink on Maui is more expensive but the $US300 for our first shop nearly blew us away. Loaded up we returned to the condo and settled into what will be our home for the next six nights. It is a small unit however we are directly across the road from a Charley Young beach. The waves are small here which makes it great for swimming and snorkelling off the points. Unlike the Baja peninsula there is plenty of shade and the sand is pleasantly soft to walk on. The water even in the late afternoon is a good temperature and there were heaps of families enjoying a late afternoon dip as they waited for the sunset. Oh! What a sunset, it was a spectacular red as it dipped below the watery horizon. To finish off the day we had a few drinks and some barbequed pork. I think we must be in paradise.

Thursday 7th December – Lahaina Town
This morning we were up and about reasonably early which meant we were down on the beach by 8:30am. The weather is absolutely perfect so Alice and I went for a long walk by the beach. Palm trees are swaying, children are swimming as their parents keep a watchful eye on them and the beautiful people are sunning themselves on the sand. On one headland we saw about seven turtles feeding right on the shore break. It was hard to believe that they were so close. After the walk I had a long swim and it is only that I don’t want sunburn that I reluctantly leave the water.
 
We rested up at the condo before taking an afternoon drive along the coastline to Lahaina Town which used to be the Hawaiian capital back in the days of whaling. We followed the coastline for about 18 miles and were rewarded with great views for most of the drive. The main street of the old town is called Front Street as it runs parallel with the ocean. In the main square there is a huge Banyan tree that has sent down its roots or possibly tentacles into the earth to provide an enormous shady canopy. There are a number of historical buildings but as our time was limited the girls spent the time checking out the various shops and galleries. On our way back to Kihei we were lucky enough to see a humpback whale.

It was an early night for me and Alice as I have come down with a cold and a particularly sore throat. The rest of the team went out and enjoyed a night of karaoke.

Friday 8th December – Haleakala Crater
People come to Maui for the ocean, palm trees and balmy weather. So why on earth would four Aussies want to travel to the centre of the island where you won’t find any of that? Simple. This part of the island has green, rolling hills, switchback roads, cool mountain air and a lump in your throat crater. It is the crater that we are visiting today and to get there one must travel the Haleakala Highway. Our first stop was at Pukalani where we picked up some Starbuck’s coffee before heading up to the National Park. There is a $US25 per car entrance fee which we duly paid to Ranger Smith. The road continues to travel up and given the number of switchbacks it is easy to come to the conclusion that the shortest distance between two points is not in a straight line. Today we have been lucky as there have been no clouds to hide the magnificent views of the valley and ocean.
 
We stopped at the upper visitor centre which is at the 20 mile marker. At around 9,500 feet above sea level the views are breathtaking. We walked a few hundred metres of the Sliding Sands Trail which gave us some good views of the crater. We could have walked further but thongs are not great footwear for serious hiking. After our short walk we continued up to the summit which is 10,023feet high. It is hard to believe that a mountain on a small island is higher than any peak in Australia. On the way back down we stopped at Kalahaku and Leleiwi lookouts which gave us a different perspective of the crater.

Prior to connecting with the main highway we made a short diversion to Makawao which is supposed to be the island’s cowboy town. We didn’t see any old cowpokes riding horses through town but there were a couple of old hitching rails. The town these days is given over more to art galleries and restaurants. We eventually made it back to Kihei around 5:00pm.

To finish off our day Alice and I revelled in another beautiful Maui sunset. Tony and Julie then chauffeured Sophie across the island where she will spend the night in the hostel. The hostel conducts tours to the crater and her goal is to hike into the crater for about 11 miles at Halemau’u Trailhead.

Saturday 9th December – Relaxin’ at da Beach
Well my nose is still runny and the razor blades in my throat make it hard to speak. After a lazy breakfast Alice went for a long walk while the rest of us headed down to the beach for a swim. The water is still a great temperature which makes it perfect for swimming. I donned my new goggles that Alice had purchased from Ross Dress for Less and plunged into the water. Tony who is an excellent swimmer ploughed on ahead of me. There is a buoy a couple of hundred metres out so for a little exercise we made this our target. After our swim we went for a walk to the next beach. On the headland we were rewarded with some more turtle sightings. Later as we were standing in chest deep water a juvenile turtle swam straight past us.
 
In the late afternoon we walked to a grassy headland where we relaxed until the sun went down. During this period Tony entertained us with his guitar which made it a perfect way to end the day.

Sunday 10th December – Iao Needle and Lahaina
Another day and another early morning swim for the holidaying iron men. We didn’t see any turtles this morning however we did manage to stretch our muscles sufficiently to earn the preceding tag. Around morning tea time we headed over to Wailuku to pick up Sophie and do some more exploring. It is amazing how the weather changes so dramatically in only a few short kilometres. It seems that the island is made up of many micro weather systems. This is the first time on the entire trip that we have engaged the windscreen wipers. After picking up Sophie we drove a short distance to have a gander at the Iao Needle. This place is considered to be one of the wettest places on the planet and they receive about an inch of rain every day. The Needle is a prominent point sticking up from the valley and is about 2000 feet high. Historically it is very important to the Hawaiians as this is where Kamehameha was able to utterly annihilate the Maui forces. What resulted was the united kingdom of Hawaii. The walk to the viewpoint is quite short and for us the rain ceased and the cloud dissipated giving us a fine view of the Iao Needle. You do not need to devote a lot of time for this visit so that was a good enough reason for us to head back to Lahaina.
 
It was a reasonably quick trip but seeing it was past lunch time we thought that a bite to eat was in order. The only trouble was that everyone seemed to be visiting Lahaina today and as a result there was limited parking available. After driving around like headless chooks we finally found a paid parking space on the outskirts of town. We headed down to Captain Jack’s for lunch where we had a good view over the main street. It was a good position as there was a big parade of motorcycles doing the Christmas present run. This was followed by some well-presented vintage cars that the owners had obviously spent a lot of TLC on. The girls went across the road to check out the local market that was taking place under the Banyan Tree whilst Tony and I just wandered the streets like lost souls. Well we did buy a couple of tee-shirts as we waited for the appointed hour when the girls would return to the car.

The drive back was uneventful except for a brief stop at one of the lookouts where we were lucky enough to see a couple of humpbacks out in the bay. A dinner of leftovers and it was time for this cold ridden boy to call it a night.

Monday 11th December – The Road to Hana
Well today we were all up nice and early as we are embarking on what is supposed to be Hawaii’s best road trip. Yep, we are off to Hana and although the one way distance is only 60 miles it is expected that with all the stops we won’t be back before dark. They say that this trip is about the journey and not the destination. To help us enjoy the trip I have downloaded a driving tour app for Maui by GySpy. It is excellent and gives you a great description of the various sights, local history and the places you must not miss. We left the condo at 8:00am and about 30 minutes later we were on the highway to Hana. It may be only 52 miles from the island’s central isthmus, but those miles are comprised of 59 stone bridges and 619 hairpin turns. With so many turns some people need to take motion sickness pills.

There are often so many beautiful sites along the Road to Hana that people don't know which to choose. If you're looking for a relaxing spot to get out, stretch your legs and learn something new, you'll enjoy the Keanae Arboretum, a botanical garden located about .8 miles past the 16 mile marker. The arboretum sits along the Pi'inau'au Stream and within a rainforest. The people of Keanae are famous for growing taro, bananas, yams, and other crops much like their Hawaiian ancestors. They also make a mean banana bread so we took a break and enjoyed some warm bread with coffee.
 
We continued on down the road stopping to enjoy the incredible views or to allow oncoming traffic to pass safely. At around lunch time we pulled into the Nahiku Marketplace where there are a number of stalls selling local products. We opted for some coconut crumbed shrimp with some chips which was delicious. There was also fresh green coconuts available which certainly quenched our thirst. Refreshed we headed off and within three miles reached Wai'anapanapa State Park. There were heaps of cars here and we only just managed to find a parking space. The black sand beach is small with an ocean cave on the east side that can be travelled through to the ocean. There's also a naturally made lava arch in the water. The legendary fresh water caves were unfortunately closed so it was back on the road towards Hana.

Time was marching on so we detoured around Hana and continued on to take a look at Hamoa Beach. This beach is what dreams are made of. This silky sand runs into the ocean, which means you won't be walking on volcanic rock or knife-sharp coral. No time for a swim here but we did stop at Wailua Falls. It is a picturesque, yet very easily accessible waterfall visible from The Hana Highway. You don't even need to get out of your car to see it! Located just past mile marker #45 on Honolewa Stream it cascades approximately 80 feet down the side of a lush jungle wall into to a lovely plunge pool.
 
Our last stop for today was 'Ohe'o Gulch which translates to “Seven Sacred Pools”.
'Ohe'o means "Something Special", but although it was great we didn’t think it was spectacular. When water levels are up, there are many more than 7 pools (as the inaccurate name suggests). The area is all national park and is very popular with hikers. It is now 3:00pm so there will not be enough time to hike the trails if we want to be off the highway before dark.
 
Tony now has the joy of driving back the way we came but not at the same sedate pace. He did a great job and just before dark we were on the main highway heading back towards Kihei. It was a long but memorable day and we can all testify that we survived the Road to Hana.

Tuesday 12th December – Where’s My Bag
This morning Tony and I had our last Maui swim. The wind had picked up and the sea was a bit choppy. Nevertheless the water was still warm and a pleasure to swim in. It is also a good opportunity to gargle the saltwater which is a good remedy for my sore throat. We have had a great stay here and could easily spend another week here exploring and relaxing. All good things come to an end and at 10:00am we loaded up the SUV for our trip to the airport. We were expedited through the check-in process as on this leg Alice and I are flying first class. It really isn’t such a big deal as the flight time to Honolulu is only 25 minutes. We do however get a better seat and a glass of wine to help the time go faster.

Usually, when you travel first class it means that your bags are first off. Well three out of four bags came promptly off the carousel but there was no sign of Alice’s main suitcase. We waited until we were sure no more bags were coming and came to the sad conclusion that her bag had gone missing. In all of our world travels this was the first instance of a bag going missing. What is more improbable is that it was only a 30 minute flight and we were travelling first class. Our first thought was that someone had accidently taken Alice’s bag as there was a similar bag doing laps of the carousel. The guy in charge checked the name and it turns out that he wasn’t due in the airport until after 5:00pm. Apparently the Maui ground staff regularly put bags on earlier flights. After filling in all the documentation we eventually left the airport for Waikiki.

We are staying one night at the White Sands Hotel which looks like a throwback to a 1960’s hotel in Surfers Paradise. We are in different wings on the 3rd floor and as there are no lifts we have to use the steps which are on the outside of the building. Our room looks like it has been refurbished so we should get a good night’s sleep. It was getting on so we decided to have a late lunch and early dinner at the popular Cheesecake Factory. It had been raining but the sun was shining when we had finished eating. Afterwards we went for a walk along the not so plentiful golden sands of Waikiki. Alice’s luck is waning as at the beach shower Tony accidently saturated the only top she has in her possession.

Tony and I went back to the hotel and unfortunately Hawaiian Airlines have not contacted us which is not good news. In the morning my first objective will bet to contact the airline to determine if they have any idea what has happened. We will keep our fingers crossed that the bag will be returned tomorrow.

Wednesday 13th December – Lost and Found
I didn’t sleep well last night as I was thinking about the missing bag. At around 8:00am we gave the airline a call and the good news was that they had Alice’s bag. By the time Tony and I had returned from our morning walk the offending article had been delivered. We don’t know the reason why it didn’t make the flight but suspect that security pulled the bag for some obscure reason. Perhaps it was the tube of vegemite that we had stuck in a side pocket at the last minute!
Today we are changing hotels as Julie has generously booked a week at the Imperial Hawaii Resort Clubl through her timeshare points. At around 11:30am the five of us started marching like Argentine Ants through the busy streets of Waikiki. It was about a half mile walk but it seemed like more when you are laden down with luggage. After settling in we did a recon of the resort to determine where the gym, pool, spa and sauna were located. The facilities all look good so it looks promising for those of us who wish to fight the flab.
 
The resort isn’t far from the beach so in the early afternoon we hit the wild surf. Well in Waikiki there is no wild surf. The waves start to form a long way out and because of the shallow bottom they roll ever so gently towards the shore. No dumpers, just a pleasant place to swim and float around. It is a great place to learn how to surf or master the art of paddling a SUP on a wave. Prior to heading back to the room we freshened up with a relaxing session in the hot tub.
On our morning walk Tony and I discovered a marketplace cum bar/restaurant that had a happy hour from 3:00pm – 6:00pm. Apart from cheap drinks we were able to purchase burgers and pizza for between $5 and $7. We arrived at about 5:30pm and duly ordered a round of drinks and a feed. Service during this period was a little slow so we only managed the one round. It was however enough for Alice and I so we retired back to the apartment for an early night. Tony, Julie and Sophie headed off to the Cheesecake Factory for a touch of decadence.

Thursday 14th December – SUP and Surfing
Tony rapped on my door around 6:30am which was the signal to get up and head down to the gym for some much needed light exercise. After the sedentary lifestyle of the last week the stretching was a little more difficult than usual. We didn’t overdo it but we managed to burn a few calories. It was still early so we went in search of a cheap coffee to assist with starting our hearts. By the time we arrived back the girls were up and about with Julie also doing a workout.
The wind is blowing out to sea which makes for a pretty calm and ideal for swimming. The conditions are not ideal for surfing or the SUP but nevertheless Tony and I invested two hours of our time in an effort to catch an elusive wave. We hired our boards about a block back from the beach where the rates are about 50% less than those who have the prime beach real estate. I had no trouble standing up but try as I might I couldn’t catch a wave. Falling off was the order of the day but eventually I could paddle on the crest of a wave. This however did not mean that I actually rode a wave and so I will have to wait another day to try again. Tony also had no luck as the swell just didn’t have enough momentum to allow his bulky frame to rise and stand on his piece of fibreglass. In the end we both had a good upper body workout.
In the afternoon it was back down to the beach for another swim. Alice has caught my cold so she has begged off going for a swim but she did manage to pass some time shopping. Tony and I did a fair bit of swimming and then headed back to the resort. I thought a sauna and a spa would refresh me however I was mistaken. The problem was that I wasn’t hydrated and I ended up with a headache. Julie cooked up a delicious green chicken curry for dinner which made me feel a little better.
Friday 15th December – Premium Outlet Shopping
Tony and I said goodbye to the girls as they boarded their coach for a day of shopping at the Outlet stores. We took advantage of our time off and did some shopping ourselves. Our purchases were done within minutes and included some New Balance runners and a half dozen t-shirts.
After lunch there was a session at the gym which we followed up with yet another swim. There is still no swell so the swimming was quite relaxing. Tony and I are preparing beef tacos for dinner so there was a little preparation to complete as well as ensuring we had enough ingredients and of course some cleansing ales. The girls returned from their shopping jaunt just prior to 6:00pm. We were amazed at how little they had purchased which is a rarity for such experienced shoppers. Dinner was declared a success and fully sated it was another early night for me.

Saturday 16th December – Arizona Memorial
Alice and I were up at 6:00am as today we are off to Pearl Harbour to visit the Arizona Memorial. As usual I want to try out the public transport and after researching “The Bus” I determined that we had an option of catching route 20 or 42 to Pearl Harbour. As it is Saturday the frequency is a little lower but on average there should be a bus approximately every 30 minutes. The fare is either $2.50 per trip or $5.00 for an all-day ticket. We were at the bus stop at about 6:45am and as luck would have it route 42 pulled up 2 minutes later. The trip is around one hour and even at this time of day it was doing a brisk trade. There were also a few other tourists heading to the memorial.
There is no admission charge to Pearl Harbor but you still need a ticket to visit the memorial. It is based on a first come, first served basis so it does pay to arrive early. Our early start did pay dividends as the bus arrived at 7:50 and we were able to snag tickets on the 8:00am tour. The tour starts with a short film that highlights the events leading up to the attack as well as footage of the attack. This is followed by a trip on a boat to the memorial site. It is a moving and well-presented homage to those who lost their lives on that day of infamy.
 
When people discuss the attack on Pearl Harbor, it’s difficult not to bring up the USS Arizona. Considered one of the greatest tragedies of that day, the mighty Pennsylvania-class battleship suffered multiple torpedo and bomb strikes, causing her to sink to the harbor floor. In the chaos of the December 7th, 1941 Japanese attack, the Arizona lost 1,177 members of her brave and dedicated crew.
The battleship and many of her crewmen lie at the bottom of the harbor, and the USS Arizona Memorial is built directly above the wreckage. Ever since her hull was breached at the onset of the attack, the Arizona has been leaking the oil she had been loaded with in preparation of a projected trip to the US mainland later in December. These escaping droplets have been dubbed the “Black Tears of the Arizona,” as the fallen vessel continues to show sorrow for the loss of her crew.
Helped by the efforts of the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, the USS Arizona Memorial was dedicated on May 30, 1962. The veteran and performing artist had the opportunity in 1961 to hold a fundraising concert to provide money for the then-underfunded project. Though the ship suffered the loss of 1,177 crewmen, more than that are actually buried in the wreckage. As a means of connecting the fallen with the survivors they once served alongside, USS Arizona survivors are given the opportunity to have their ashes interred by US Navy divers within the wreckage of the ship.
After our visit we walked out to the highway and as luck would have it a bus arrived within two minutes. I do love a seamless transport system! Instead of returning to Waikiki we decided to alight at the huge Ala Mona shopping centre. We had skipped breakfast this morning and our tummies were rumbling. Most of the food at the outlets is quite stodgy but we did purchase a nice piece of rare beef roast. A couple of hours here was certainly enough for me and it was late afternoon before we arrived back. An afternoon swim and that was all she wrote!

Sunday 17th December – Church on the Beach and Sky Waikiki
There wasn’t much movement from the other room this morning as Tony and Julie had a night of kamikaze karaoke. It was well after midnight when they eventually wandered in. Alice and I tip toed out and headed for Denny’s for a healthy breakfast. There is no shortage of customers so the food must be good. As usual the portions are generous but in an effort to be health conscious they give you the calorie count for each meal. The food was delicious and definitely filled us up.
 
Sated, we headed down the beach path towards the Hilton Hawaiian Village where they have conducted Sunday services on the beach since February 8, 1970. The Waikiki Beach Chaplaincy (a Christian evangelistic outreach) is a uniquely Hawaiian interdenominational service and is for whomsoever would come. Frequently referred to as "The Church that is inside out," this, Church On The Beach @ Waikiki, is held from 10:30 a.m. to 11:45 a.m. This scenic, come as you are Oceanside Service is complemented with a blend of singers, musicians, sign and gospel hula. We arrived early and were able to enjoy fifteen minutes of carols performed by a Hawaiian Japanese lady with of course a ukulele. The service was enjoyable and both Alice and I were glad that we had attended.
Sophie had headed off by herself for a hike up to Diamond Head crater whilst the four of us chilled out under a pam tree by the beach. Tony and I had a couple of long swims. We had to curtail our visit as we have a booking for Sky Waikiki at 5:30pm.
 
Dressed in our best finery, no thongs we headed out into Levers Street and quickly found a bar with happy hour prices. We had a quick drink and a bite to eat before making our way to Sky Waikiki. It is touted as Hawaii’s ultimate rooftop dining experience, featuring panoramic views of Waikiki, Diamond Head, and the Pacific Ocean. The balcony is on the 17th floor and the view does live up to all the hype. There is an area where you can take that memorable photograph with an amazing backdrop. Our timing was well planned as we were able to soak up not only a few drinks but a great red sunset. You can only book a table for 90 minutes and at 7:00pm we reluctantly left what was a great experience.

Monday 18thDecember – Oahu Island Circle Tour and Billabong Pipeline Masters
We had an early night as we have booked a Dodge Charger to convey us around the island. Tony and I are pretty confident with our driving but we are not prepared to risk not having the all- inclusive insurance. It is an extra $US45 but it is worth it to avoid the bureaucratic nightmare of claiming back against your insurance and still paying at least a $100 in excess.
We started our trip after picking up the girls at the Imperial. Our guide for the day is the GySpy app for Oahu and our friend sent us via the upscale Kahala neighbourhood heading towards Diamond Head. This 350-acre (142-hectare) crater was left behind by a now-extinct volcano many millions of years ago. We had a quick stop at one of the lookouts to take in some great views of the surfers down on the beach below. Our journey took us to Hanauma Bay, a marine nature reserve known for great snorkelling and for crystal-clear waters. The snorkelling is said to be the best in Hawaii and judging by the crowds of people it must be good. There is a $7.50 entry fee per person to go down to the beach but unfortunately that will have to be saved for another visit.
 
From here we proceed to the Halona Blowhole, a rock formation on the coast that forces ocean swells through a narrow opening, creating impressive explosion-like sprays of water. The drive took us into the hills of Oahu heading to Nu’uanu Pali, an overlook which offers panoramic vistas of both Kanehoe and Kailua Bay. The next stop recommended by the app is at Byodo-In Temple, a re-creation of 950-year-old Buddhist Temple found in Uji, Japan. There was a $US4 admission charge for seniors. We wandered among the complex’s intricate temple buildings and glistening nine-foot (tree meter) tall gold Buddha statue, all set among the beautiful foothills of the Ko’olau Mountains. There was also an opportunity to ring the 3 ton brass bell which is supposed to give you a tranquil life. I hope it works!
After stopping at a couple of picturesque beaches, no time for swimming we proceeded towards Oahu’s North Shore. Another great stop was the view of Mokoli’l Island (Chinaman’s Hat) and the scenic view of Kahana Bay. We were not far from the North Shore but it was now lunch time and we were all a bit peckish. This area is famous for its shrimp shacks so we pulled up in an area which had a few food vans as well as Giovanni’s Shrimp Van. Alice ordered a garlic shrimp scampi which came with gluggy rice, a dozen prawns and enough garlic to ward off vampires for an eternity. The shrimp a farmed locally in ponds that are just behind the shacks and as a result they are fresh and delicious. The rest of us found a large Hawaiian man who offered a free taste of his pulled pork and smoky barbeque chicken. The meat and chicken were tender and full of flavour. Alice and I finished off with a Kona cold-brewed coffee. The food isn’t cheap but it is definitely worth a stop at one of these shacks.
 
Tony took over the driving and we soon passed one of the top beaches of the North Shore, Sunset Beach. Our goal was to stop at the Banzai Pipeline, known worldwide since the 1960s as the epicentre of big-wave surfing culture.  The traffic is thick and moving at a snail pace as the police keep stopping traffic to allow people to cross on the pedestrian crossing adjacent to the beach and the elementary school. The side of the highway is lined with parked cars that stretch for a couple of miles either side of the beach. We tried a couple of tight spots but had to reverse back into the traffic and move on. We were about to give up when we saw a paid parking sign offering spaces for $US10. This proved to be a salvation as it not only saved our sanity but was only 50 metres from the walkway to the Pipeline Beach.
 
Our goal today was to watch some of the heats of the Billabong Pipeline Masters which is chock-full of big-wave riders. We couldn’t have timed it better as we zigzagged our way through the big crowd looking for a piece of sand the first semi-final began. The waves were not big and the riders had to be patient as they waited for the right swell to arrive. The newly crowned (earlier in the day) world champion John John Florence who is a local boy was the overwhelming favourite. He was leading up until the last seven minutes when the other rider caught a great high scoring wave. John John needed an 8.5 ride and in these conditions that was not going to be easy. He took off on a big wave but it broke early and much to the dismay of the locals he emerged from the white water clutching a broken board. With time running out he made it back to the beach retrieved a replacement board and made it back out to the break with four minutes remaining. In a final made for Hollywood he took off for one last ride and emerged unscathed through a long back-door tube. The judges scored it an 8.75 and he was through to the final. The locals were ecstatic and carried him on their shoulders up the beach. The other semi-final was not as dramatic and it was won by the eventual champion Jeremy Flores who hails from France. In an ironic twist he won the final and $US100000 by catching the winning ride in the final 10 seconds of the contest.

We didn’t stay for the final as the traffic would have been horrendous with everyone trying to get back to the other side of the island. Continuing along the North Shore we stopped at Waimea Bay where some of the biggest and heaviest waves ever ridden have occurred. Today however the waves a small but that could change at any time. If you have the time there are many more beach parks such as Turtle Bay where you could easily spend a few hours. We did stop for a short break at the Haleiwa which is the main town on the North Shore. It was also famous for being the film location for the television series Baywatch. Turning away from the coast back to Oahu’s interior, we stopped for a rest break at the Dole Plantation that lies at its centre. There was no time to check out the plantation’s brilliant-green gardens and browse its gift shop as we wanted to back in Waikiki before dark. The app did its job and expertly guided us back to Waikiki with added commentary on Hawaii to help pass the time. Our GySpy guide has been brilliant and worth every cent of the $5 I spent for the app. We dropped the car back just before 6:00pm. It was a tiring day but the girls still had enough energy to put together a healthy meal for everyone. After a couple of beers it was time for some well-deserved shuteye.

Tuesday 19th December – Dull Day, Means Shopping
After yesterday’s epic drive we were all in the mood for a restful day at the beach. Unfortunately, the clouds but no rain has moved in. The weather may be below standard but it gives the girls an opportunity to have one last shop. Yesterday they saw a Ross for Less store that they had not rummaged through so it was on the bus and Uber. Tony and I bought a couple of t-shirts and then headed off to the beach for a swim.
A little after 2:00pm Sophie returned with little to show for her efforts. She was quickly followed by Alice who hadn’t fared any better. Julie decided to walk back and was a little later. She did however have a remarkable array of purchases which should see her out for the next 12 months. Alice and I did one last shop at the Waikiki Ross store. She must have been more focused on this excursion as she managed to ferret out two pair of jeans.
This afternoon Julie and Tony have decided to take us all out to celebrate Alice’s upcoming birthday. They selected a great beach bar with fantastic views of the water. A bottle of Chandon Champagne and a couple of IPA’s for the boys was ordered. It was great just to sit there with good friends relaxing and soaking up the atmosphere. With the bottle empty we moved on to another location for our last meal in Hawaii. We chose a place that had a reasonably priced menu and enjoyed some gourmet burgers, pizza and sandwich. The only hitch was the bill as Sophie had noticed that we were charged for two extra meals. The mistake was soon rectified and apologies offered.
Sophie retired back to the resort as she has some packing to finish and doesn’t want to be rushed in the morning. We all decided to try out the karaoke bar that J and T visited the other night. It is virtually a hole in the wall and is called the In-Between bar. The clientele except for us was all gay but they welcomed us in. It is only early and as a result it is not crowded. Tony spent $3 for 3 songs which he sang well and to the applause of the crowd. The bar area is small but has a great atmosphere. I would definitely come back but only if Tony was singing. J and T have a taxi booked for 6:00am so it is an early night for us.

Wednesday 20th December – Homeward Bound
We did not need an alarm this morning as the hotel emergency alarm system went off at 4:30am. Well that woke everybody up which meant we were able to farewell Sophie, Julie and Tony. Alice managed to grab another hour of sleep but there was nothing more for me. We have booked our airport transfer through Star Taxis which is a flat rate of $US30 plus tip. The taxi which is a large sedan was nearly as old as our 84 year old driver. Our trip to the airport was entertaining as our driver regaled us with his life history. One interesting part was when he retold his story of when he was eight years old and witnessed the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour. He did manage to get us to the airport with plenty of time to spare.
We have splurged on some business-class travel for the trip home as it is Alice’s birthday. As a result the check-in and security was easy as we are given some priority. Our flight is at 3:05pm so we have a couple of hours in the Pulmeria Lounge to sample the sandwiches, wine and chocolates. We could have stayed in the lounge loner than we did as our flight was delayed by 45 minutes. Eventually we were on our way and as the rain came down we said our sad farewells to Hawaii. Overall the weather has been close to perfect with only some occasional rain and a constant warm temperature.
Once we reached cruising altitude we reclined our seats to a comfortable sitting position and started searching for our monitors. It turns out that we don’t need one as we will be issued a large I-Pad to view our desired selections. It was all to technical for me so I ordered a glass of champagne while I waited for the flight attendant to set everything up. It always happens that when you get to the best part of the movie the food arrives and you end up losing the thread of the plot. Not that I minded as the food was delicious. Even though we have a lie flat bed there isn’t much point in trying to sleep as technically we will arrive home just after midnight Hawaiian time or eighteen hours later Brisbane time.

Thursday 21st December – Alice’s Short Birthday
A few hours into the flight we crossed the international dateline which meant Alice was now 56 years old. This was the signal for all of the flight attendants to gather around her seat and sing happy birthday. They topped it off with a glass of bubbles which made it a great start to her birthday. The only issue for Alice is that her birthday will only last approximately 6 hours. This is due to the direction of our flight where we gain 18 hours. It is a little like Phileas Fogg in Around The World in Eighty Days but in reverse. The rest of the flight was spent watching movies, eating and bracing ourselves from the turbulence.
Touchdown in Brisbane was just after 9:00pm but due to Australian quarantine regulations we had to wait for twenty minutes for someone to fumigate the aircraft. With this over we proceeded to pick up our duty free stash and make our way through immigration. We were through in reasonably quick time and managed to be at the carousel prior to our bags. The wait wasn’t long as one of the perks of business class is that your bags are among the first to be unloaded. Nothing to declare and we were soon outside where we were greeted by Jemma. She had made up a sign wishing Alice “Happy Birthday” which was a nice surprise. A couple of big hugs signalled that another epic holiday had come to an end. The only tasks left was to drive home and see if Bob remembers who we are!